When people ask me if my dog is a mutt, I tell them, “No, he’s a moron.”

King Louie is a nine-year-old, twelve-pound toy poodle who has the intelligence of rock salt. The day we brought him home, the husband and I decided to name him Zippy; but within hours, we realized that name did not suit him.

On his first day of obedience class, the instructor informed me that Louie was untrainable. That was just after she ripped out most of her hair and right before she called him a Jell-O brain and ran from the building sobbing. Louie not only flunked the class, he was dishonorably discharged.

We dubbed the cantankerous canine King Louie, not because of his regal demeanor or his majestic appearance. He earned that title because of his overbearing ways. The domineering little devil rules our home with an iron paw. He demands absolute respect from his human subjects. Louie changes from cute little fur ball into ferocious beast in 3.5 milliseconds when someone attempts to usurp his authority. He snarls viciously at those who dare to extricate him from his couch throne.

Besides being a control freak with a brain the size of a Rice Krispy, King Louie is a loner. He hates drop in guests – or any guests for that matter. Perhaps his disagreeable temper is the result of painful periodontal disease. Either that, or he’s not getting enough fiber in his diet. For whatever reason, the toothless little tyrant discourages intruders by baring his shriveled gums and growling obscenities.

Though his domain covers forty wooded acres, the King doesn’t roam very far from home. In fact, he doesn’t care to go outside much at all, especially unescorted. And he is adamant about not venturing forth in the rain. It takes three sumo wrestlers to force this dwarf of a dog out the door during inclement weather. Being a passive aggressive pooch, Louie retaliates by relieving himself on the front porch.

Louie has made his mark — several in fact — not on the world, but in our home. Though he can roam free in our 3,000 square foot, two-story house, when he feels the urge to throw up or have an uncontrollable bout of explosive diarrhea, he heads straight for the oriental rug. If we toss him outside, he stands staring at the door until we let him back in. Once inside, he picks up where he left off and resumes spurting something out from one end or the other. Louie faithfully obeys the doggie code of ethics which lists rule number one as NEVER regurgitate outside.

The mangey monarch monopolizes my bed and whines at the bathroom door when I’m in the tub. He jumps on my lap when I’m typing, and he watches me when I go to the bathroom. He clings to me like a hair on a grilled cheese sandwich.

Louie’s favorite bone is my ankle. After nine years of intensive training, he hasn’t yet learned to sit. In fact, he barely knows how to stand. However, he does respond to a few voice commands. For instance, when I say “come,” he instantly runs in the opposite direction. When I say “stay,” he leaps up and attaches himself leech-like to my thigh. When I order him to “heel,” he gnaws on my shoes. When he chases cars and I yell, “No!” he immediately steps up his pace. I can’t get him to fetch either. The only stick he’s interested in is a bread stick, and the only balls he’ll chase are meatballs.

I think the problem is that Louie doesn’t understand English. Since poodles come from France, I tried speaking French to him. Who knew he wasn’t bi-lingual? I said “oui oui” and he did just that! So now I’m taking French lessons so I can communicate with him in his native tongue.
This high-strung hound turns up his royal nose at milk bone biscuits and dog chow, preferring instead french fries, cherries jubilee, and linguine in clam sauce. This is one thing we have in common. In fact, we’re a lot alike in the eating department.

Neither of us relishes what is nutritious, and we both occasionally eat till we’re sick. I, however, do not gobble food whole or throw up twice my body weight – in bed. Neither do I stubbornly plant myself under the dining room table while whining, yipping, and drooling throughout the meal. I also refuse to ingest paper plates, no matter how sumptuous they smell; and I would never curl up on dirty underwear and nibble on my husband’s feet.

Recently, His Peskiness accompanied us on a long car trip. A very long trip. At least it seemed to last forever. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation? Louie refused to sit anywhere in the car but on my lap. During the six hour trip, he busied himself by jumping in my face, licking my face, and breathing in my face. He also whined non-stop except during an occasional break or two to lick the windows.

Riding in the car is one of Louie’s favorite pastimes. Or at least he bounds enthusiastically into the car in anticipation of the ride. He believes very strongly that he must accompany us everywhere. After all, you never know when you might need a tiny demon dog to pant and bark violently at nothing right in your ear while he’s walking on your chest as you speed down the expressway.

The only thing Louie likes better than getting into the car is getting out. Once we leave the driveway, the pitiful whining begins and doesn’t stop till the car door opens, allowing his escape.

You can always tell when Louie’s been in the car. The windows are coated with dog slobber and the vehicle smells like a combination of moldy swamp water, an old bowling shoe, and a backed up toilet.

Besides road trips, other things Louie enjoys are marking his territory when new furniture is added to our home; sitting in the middle of a room full of company and licking himself; barking incessantly at invisible monsters; violently charging the poor UPS man; emitting fowl odors; and ignoring everything spoken by his master, with the exception of the words “treat,” and “yummies.”

A pomegranate is smarter than Crazy Louie (a.k.a. Nutsie) and any self respecting fruit would be insulted to be compared with him. The runt is fortunate that he’s cute. If not for his floppy ears and that helpless, innocent look, he would never have survived this long.

The only reason we have endured “the Doofus” for nine years is that we’re certain no normal family would tolerate his obnoxious behavior. We feel sorry for him because he is brain damaged and ill mannered. We believe that his “inner puppy” may have been traumatized early in life, warping his personality and making his applesauce brain psychopathic. We spoil him rotten, because we feel sorry for him. He’s treated better than most children, and nothing is expected of him. He doesn’t even take out the garbage.

I’ve tried several times to give Louie away, but at the last minute, I always back out due to guilt. I just know that any other owner would surely abuse him because he would drive them mad. When we’re tempted to get rid of him, we always reconsider after thinking about what a new owner might do when the little creep not only bites the hand that feeds him, but takes a leak on his clean laundry, eats his underwear, and barfs on his pillow.

So, we’ve kept Louie all these years, not because we love him . . . just to protect him from an early entrance to doggie heaven. Although, if such a place does exist, I seriously doubt that Louie would be allowed in.

Marsha Jordan
Author of “Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter”
mailto:hugsandhope@gmail.com hugsandhope@gmail.com
hugsandhope.org www.hugsandhope.org

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Tags: heel, monster, whining

Many people, who unfortunately misunderstand the concept of good crate training, believe that crating a dog for any length of time is cruel and they refuse to even consider it. In fact, a crate really is a wonderful tool when used correctly. Crate training can be fun for the puppy if you make it a POSITIVE experience. I firmly believe it to be the fastest and easiest way to potty train a puppy or even an adult, previously untrained dog.

The majority of new pet owners misconstrue the purpose of a dog crate. It is NOT used to punish a puppy; the puppy should deem the crate to be his safe haven. Once you recognize this fact, you will be able to utilize the puppy’s den to your advantage and build up a proper potty training plan.

When you have a new puppy or dog, you will use a crate to limit his admission to the entire house until he learns all the house rules. A crate is also a secure way of transporting your dog in the car, as well as an opportunity to take him places where it may not be appropriate for him to run without restraint.

Giving the pup special “treats” is a perfect way to introduce him to his crate. The only time the puppy receives these special treats is when he is in the crate; the treats become associated with the crate. Thus, when introduced and used correctly, your dog will think of his crate as his safe haven and he will be happy to spend time there when required. Basically, you need to think like a dog for this to work: normally, a dog never chooses a busy part of the house for his hideaway. He usually selects a dark corner off by himself where he feels sheltered and safe; maybe under a table or chair or between furniture where he is able to see anyone approaching. So, use this concept to your advantage, now that you understand the dog’s purpose for the crate is that it becomes his “den” you can move forward. Remember though, repetition is essential. Your puppy will not understand what you want unless you repeatedly show him exactly what is required of him.

A dog will never make his den dirty. If a dog is correctly trained to love his den, his instinct will be to keep it clean. This is the foremost reason why a crate works in potty training. A dog should always be at ease and safe in his crate and above all he always desires to have a clean environment. A crate must be a positive place where your dog can find security and pleasure. An attractive crate makes for a welcoming den - a comfy blanket, tasty treats, and a favorite toy help to make the pup comfortable. Also very important, the crate needs to be in a place where your dog will not feel as if he is part of the family and not isolated.

Always feed the pup/dog’s regular meals somewhere close to his crate. This will also create a pleasant association with the crate. Some trainers recommend actually feeding meals inside the crate; this too is fine, but my personal preference is to keep food dishes outside. An exception to this could be with a adult dog who initially views the crate negatively; placing meals inside the crate will be a great encouragement to him accepting it. After the dog is eating his regular meals in the crate with no sign of fear or anxiety, begin moving the dishes outside.

To sum up: using a crate correctly, establishes restrictions for your dog when you are away from the house and unable to keep an eye on his behavior. A crate is also a safe area for your dog to be if you’re having company and you have a less than social dog. Another surprising advantage: dogs who are afraid of thunderstorms or fireworks, often find refuge in their familiar crate/den.

Normally a puppy follows a very definite “potty pattern”: when he wakes up in the morning; immediately after meal; when he wakes up from a nap; after he has been playing, or after it has been a while since he last went potty. At each of these strategic points, take the puppy outside to take care of his business. A puppy can not hold it a long time so you must be trained to anticipate his likely needs. Look at it this way, you need to understand that the better trained you become, the better trained your puppy will be.

The last two dogs I have crate trained personally were a six week old female Dalmatian puppy and an adult rescued (badly abused) female Dalmatian. I began the baby in a comfortable, plastic travel crate, while the adult dog was put in a much larger, fold down wire crate. Both crates were situated in the kitchen/dining room which is the most occupied area of the house.

With both dogs, the following schedule was set up and followed faithfully:

Early Morning: Puppy/dog woke up in her crate; I immediately took the puppy/dog outside to the part of the yard we had designated as her “potty area”. Right from the start I began repeating “Quickly, quickly, quickly”, so that she would straight away associate the command with going to potty. Immediately she obliged, I praised her bother verbally and with lots of pats. We then returned to the house and the puppy was given breakfast and the adult dog was given a biscuit. After breakfast we both went back outside for the puppy to go potty while the adult dog went for a walk. Both dogs were then allowed to play safely for a while in the house, then back outside, potty, praise, return into the house, and naptime in the crate.

Afternoon: Puppy/dog woke up again; time to go outside. I immediately began repeating “Quickly, quickly, quickly”, and pretty soon both animals obliged almost instantly and they were rewarded with lots of praise. Back into the house for lunch. Puppy/dog ate lunch the again went outside with me and went potty; lots of praise, then back into the house for playtime. The puppy indulged in lots of activity, while the adult dog socialized with us and explored the house. I allowed this for a given amount of time, then back outside to potty, then back into the crate for naptime.

Evening: Puppy/dog woke up and straight away went outside. Verbally encouraged, then praised, they both quickly went potty and knowing that they had done what was required of them, straight away looked to go back into the house for dinner. Dinner was eaten – back outside. Family social hour – back outside.

This routine WORKS. I will tell you with absolute honesty that in both instances, I didn’t have to clean up a single “accident” with either animal.

At bed time, both animals had a last trip outside then were snuggled up for the night in their crate. When the puppy was very young, I set the alarm and took her outside once during the night. This nocturnal trip depends upon the age of the puppy and some babies may need to go out more than once during the night initially. This improves with age. Remember whenever he or she wakes you up in the middle of the night that your dog is reacting to your training and is actually doing the right thing by asking. Please be patient.

If you work, don’t expect the puppy to wait 10 to 12 hours while you are gone. Make arrangements to go home for lunch, or have a neighbor or friend come over and follow the same routine of potty, praise, and play. As a puppy gets older and can hold it longer, the crate becomes less necessary. Just make sure that if you allow your dog freedom, he is still limited in a safe area. Check for electrical cords and unsafe “chewy” items. Better safe than sorry.

Remember, as your dog gets accustomed to his crate routine and enjoys the security of having his own space, never leave a puppy crated for longer than three or four hours at a time or an adult dog for longer than eight hours. If you crate your dog at night, you should make sure he has plenty of uncrated time during the day.

Even when the pup or dog is no longer confined to the crate, they continue see it as their “den”, their refuge, and I keep it available to them with the entrance door propped open. Whenever they choose to go into the crate, make sure they are left alone; especially make children respect it as the pup or dog’s private place. Dogs love their crates, when they remain available to them they prefer to use them, cuddled into their favorite blanket.

Crates are also a very useful tool to employ as a puppy becomes older and is going through the stage where it is losing its puppy teeth and chewing on everything. Then, it’s a good idea to crate him whenever you are away from the house.

Proper crate training of a puppy shapes the puppy’s behavior positively using his animal instincts to your advantage. Surely, this is much better than accidents on your floor. Remember above all else to be tolerant and consistent in your training. Love your puppy and give him lots of praise when he does it correctly. Dogs love praise; they thrive on it and positive reinforcement works every time.

Remember though, crate is NOT a magical solution. If not used correctly, a dog will feel trapped and frustrated. As an example, if your dog is crated all day while you’re at work and then crated again all night, he’s definitely spending far too much time in much too small a space. Also remember that puppies under six months of age should never stay in a crate for more than three or four hours at a stretch. They can’t control their functions for longer periods.

If your dog whines or cries when crated at night, it may be difficult to decide whether he’s whining to be let out of the crate, or whether he needs to be taken outside to eliminate. Try to ignore the whining for a few minutes. If your dog is just testing you, he will probably stop whining soon. Yelling at him or pounding on the crate will only make things worse and will definitely destroy the dog’s confidence in your training. If the whining continues after you’ve ignored him for several minutes, use the phrase he’s learnt to associate with going outside to eliminate. If he responds and becomes excited, take him outside. This should be a trip with a purpose, not play time. If you’re certain that your dog doesn’t need to eliminate, the best response is to ignore him until he stops whining. Don’t give in, otherwise you will just teach your dog to whine loud and long to get what he wants. If you’ve progressed slowly but surely through the training steps and haven’t done too much too fast, you will be less likely to encounter this problem. If the problem becomes unmanageable, you may need to start the crate training process over again.

You need to be certain the crate is the correct size for the pup/dog. If it is too big, the pup may try to use part of it as a bathroom and this is something you definitely need to avoid. The crate needs to be big enough to allow the dog to stand up and lie down comfortably. If you know your dog is going to grow into a big dog, then consider getting a divider so you will have the proper size crate in the beginning and it can grow along with the dog!

Location is also immensely important. You must be able to hear the pup. If the pup is whining, he probably needs to go potty and should be taken out. Remember the routine outlined above. The crate should be in a room where there is activity.

Crates may be plastic (often referred to as flight kennels) or collapsible, metal pens. They come in different sizes and can be purchased at most pet supply stores as well as online. All have pros and cons, including cost, ventilation, clean-up, etc.

Anne Pottinger publishes 4petsonline.com 4PetsOnline, a pet and domestic animal website containing hundreds of pages of pet information and advice as well as many humorous and often poignant articles. She’s always available to answer pet and domestic animal related questions

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Tags: potty training, whining

A dog whines for the simple reason that it wants to do something.

A puppy whines when it is hungry and the mother will instinctively return to her offspring for breastfeeding. A mature dog will whine if it wants its master to do something for him.

If the dog learns that whining will result to getting what it wants then it will repeat this behavior.

Perhaps the best way to stop a dog from whining is just by ignoring it. The dog will eventually become tired of whining and stop if it realizes that its action will not result in getting what it wants.

If the dog whines if it sees its master, it is advisable to block the dog’s vision. A dog will whine for attention when it sees its master.

Reprimanding the animal is not advised, as this is also one form of giving attention. This situation is one of the few cases wherein being ignorant is actually beneficial.

The pet owner should always be conscious of the reasons why a dog whines. Here are some reasons why dogs whine.

- The dog wants to play with you but is blocked by a screen or any transparent wall.

- The dog is craving what the master is eating.

- The dog wants to be placed in a crate or kennel.

- The dog wants to run around outside of the house.

- The dog wants to go outside and urinate or defecate.

It is best that the dog is in a situation that enables it to be comfortable and not bored most of the time. Rewards should be given if the dog eventually stops whining.

If the dog is well-behaved, the pet owner should spend time with it to reinforce positive behavior. Always remember that in stopping a whining dog, it is always best for the pet owner not to give in. The dog should only be attended to when it is quiet. Stay strong and be patient.

For more tips on how to

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Tags: whining

Dogs obedience training, is it really necessary for dog owners to consider this option? Dogs are naturally adorable and intelligent, a good companion, but no matter how lovely they are, sometimes dog behavior is hard to handle and may get out of hand. Disobedience and aggression are the most hard to handle dogs’ behavior. Dogs disobedience and aggression may include excessive biting, too much barking, whining, fighting with other dogs and other general disobedience that you can’t get your dog listen to you. Unfortunately, dogs disobedience can put you in great humiliation; your dog could embarrass you in public and you have that fear that your dog might injure someone or worst any member of your family.

Dogs disobedience and aggression are sometimes caused by owners mismanagement or not knowing the right techniques and strategies to teach your dog. If you don’t train your dog it may lead to serious disobedience. Before disobedience starts to become really, really serious you have to decide to act now and help your dog. Dogs obedience training is an option to help your dog. Lack of proper communication or no communication at all with your dog leads to disobedience and unacceptable behavior. Dogs behavior problem can be solved by dogs obedience training. You and your dog need to communicate in a language that you both understand and dogs obedience training can help you to attain the communication you both need. Dogs like humans also need love and attention and they need to learn how to live with humans.

You may think dogs obedience training and learning to control your dogs’ bad behavior could be a very hard and challenging job. Learning how to get your dog listen to you, be friendly and sociable to others may be hard but it is possible and can be done. Dogs obedience training will help you teach your dog to behave properly. Dogs are smart, with the correct methods and strategies, bad behavior can be corrected. Dogs can be trained and dog owners must put effort and find the necessary training guide to train dogs to behave well. With the proper dogs obedience training you can establish good relationship with your dog and gain a loyal trusted companion after all dogs are regarded as man’s best friend.

Do you want to stop your dog’s disobedience, end all your worries and raise a well behaved dog? There are dogs’ owners who became happy, satisfied and now enjoying their dogs’ good behavior.

Find out more about dogs obedience training visit luv-pets.blogspot.com/ Dog’s Obedience Training

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Tags: whining

It is no real secret that exercise has a major effect on our health and wellness. Nowadays, medical professionals simply can’t stress enough the benefits of a regular exercise program:

Controls weight
Increases energy
Improves circulation
Enhances lung capacity
Oxygenates blood
Improves heart rate
Builds strong muscles
Increases joint mobility
Improves your mood
Helps with sleep
The list goes on and on…

You may not have given it much thought, but our pets reap the same benefits as we do when it comes to exercise. Not to mention, a regular exercise program can help burn nervous energy and reduce boredom for your pet, making them less likely to destroy your property. Your cat may run through the house or bat around a toy on its own, and your dog may chase a squirrel in the backyard or play with his ball. But, this is the extent of their exercise program without someone’s help. That’s why it’s up to us as their caretakers to make sure they are getting the exercise they need.

Don’t worry, you aren’t going to get any whining, lame excuses or belly aching from your pets regarding exercise. The whole process is playtime in their minds and the bond that grows between you and your pet when you increase their “playtime” will make them love you all the more.

Be sure and consult with your veterinarian before you begin. Different pets have different needs when it comes to exercise. Large dogs are going to vary from small dogs and older animals are going to vary from younger animals. Plus, the vet can give your pet a routine examination to make sure their health is good and it’s safe to proceed.

Please keep in mind, too, that if your pet isn’t use to exercising you will need to start out slow and gradually increase over time. Just like people, pets can get sore muscles and strained joints or ligaments if they overexert themselves.

Exercising Your Dog

It’s a good idea to start with a moderately paced walk or swim for dogs, giving them a chance to build strength and stamina without straining muscles. Start with 10-15 minutes a day and gradually increase time and distance as the dog gets a little more accustomed to it.

Always keep an eye out for signs of fatigue and trouble breathing – excessive panting, rapid heart rate. And, be sure to keep plenty of water on hand. By all means, if your dog wants to stop, let him. That is a strong sign that he has had enough. Please keep in mind that most dogs love to burn energy and because of their enthusiasm and willingness to please their owner, they may not stop until it’s too late. Therefore, it’s very important to watch and know when enough is enough.

To keep things interesting, you may want to vary their forms of activity: walking, swimming, jogging, playing ball or chasing a Frisbee are great ways to keep them enthused. For a real change of pace, take your dog to the dog park to play with other dogs. He’ll not only burn lots of calories, he’ll get to socialize and make new friends, as well.

As a safety precaution, allow your dog to walk or jog on soft surfaces in the beginning. Soft or tender pads can become sore or tear under stress. Make sure nails are trimmed so they won’t hang or rip. And, always keep your dog on a leash to avoid traffic or other, more aggressive dogs.

If you exercise at night, consider a reflective collar or light on your dog, as well as a bright colored or reflective leash that is visible to passersby. Also, you’ll want to wear white or light colored clothing yourself to make sure you can be seen by others.

Exercising Your Cat

Getting your cat the exercise he needs is a little more challenging than the dog. Some cats can be trained to walk on a leash, but for most this is not a viable solution. Cats are designed different from dogs, too. Short frequent periods of intense activity are more beneficial to a cat than slower-paced exercise sessions.

There are a lot of wonderful toys you can purchase to help keep your cat active. But, before you spend a lot of money, you might look around the house. Many times, you’ll find plenty of things around the house to create hours of entertainment for your cat. Basically, cats like to climb, bat, chase, explore and scratch. So, if you work these elements into their routine, you should have some success.

Things to climb on and explore could be a kitty cat tower from the pet store or some boxes, suit cases and paper sacks. For batting practice, a shiny ball, stuffed mouse, old sock or wadded up piece of paper should do the trick. As for the chase, a string or laser pointer can work wonderfully. And, a scratching post, piece of cardboard or carpet will do for scratching.

You definitely don’t want to discourage your cat from scratching. This scratching motion will stretch and tone your cat’s shoulder muscles. But, more importantly, it will keep his claws active so that he is less inclined to shred your furniture.

For an interesting change of pace, you might consider walking or running up and down a flight of stairs or hallway with a string or rope attached to your belt loop. This will get the pulse rate up for both of you! Or, create a challenge for your cat by making him work for his dinner by putting small amounts of food on several plates and scattering them throughout the house at meal time. This will make your cat exercise in order to eat and freshen up some of those tracking skills.

Remember that exercise is every bit as vital to your pet’s health and well being as good food, clean water and shelter. A consistent exercise program will enhance your pet’s life in many ways. If your busy schedule finds you short on time, you might consider hiring a pet sitter. A pet sitter is more than happy to come out to your house and exercise your pets. They can walk or run with your dog, take him to the park or out to play ball in the back yard. They’ll even exercise and play with the cat. Your pets will absolutely love the extra attention and you’ll have peace of mind knowing that they’re getting the exercise they need.

More Information regarding Cat and Dog Health may be obtained at yourpetslife.com yourpetslife.com.

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Tags: whining